So I LOVE the Hunger Games. Ok maybe love isn’t a strong enough word, I’m obsessed with the Hunger Games. I love the idea of the story and human nature. But more than that I love that the quotes from that book and movie. Directly reflect my life... So I’m going to share with you the quotes that makes me realize that The Hunger Games isn’t just a great book, but that it understands me
‘It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart.’ Finnick Odair (Mockingjay)
I turn and look at her, she is crying, she won't stop crying and I'm here, how did I get here. I look around trying to figure out how did I get here, how did I get to this place in this moment. She screaming now, 'I KILLED HIM, DIDN'T I?' I just look at her, I don't know what to say. I don't know how to fix this, I'm suppose to be at church, we are having a fun night tonight with food and karaoke, but I'm here. She grabs my arm and look at me, 'Did I Kill him?' I'm at a lost for words, I look down and begin to cry.
It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart. Finnick knew what he was talking about. I know that it was because it took 2 mins for me to fall apart, and still to this day, I'm trying to put some of the pieces back together. In two minutes I sat at a red light made a decision on what direction to go, waited for the light to turn. I watched a car turn right in front of me, I put my foot on the gas and the car began to go. I followed a few car lengths behind the car that pulled in front of me. I watched that car hit a man, his body fly over the top of the car and land on the road in front of me. I slammed on my breaks and swerved and then stopped. I turned to the left to open my door, to help this person, while the truck behind me came around and ran over his face. This took about 2 minutes maybe less. 'It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart.' I sat there trying to breathe, trying to think, trying to understand what just happened. The other cars come to a stop. I'm looking out my window, at this person his feet are about six feet from my car door, he's not moving, but people are suppose to move. I'm trying to think, I sit for a second and realized, he could still be alive no one has check. I open my door and run over to check to see if he is still breathing, if not I could do CPR or something. I got to the body and stopped, what I saw, made me know there was no coming back from this. I looked around at the people getting out of their cars, but the look on my face clearly showed there was nothing to be done. 'It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart.' I heard someone say that they called 911, but now what do I do! I can't just sit here with his body, I look around where am I, why am I here, how did I get here. I see the car, the first car that hit him. Are they ok? No one got out of the car, I go to the passenger side open it and get in.
It only took two minutes for everything to fall apart. You always hear, if you stay away from the places you aren't suppose to be then you will be ok. But sometimes you are in the wrong place at the wrong time, and life bumps into you. It bumps into you in such a way that the world doesn't make sense, that what you know to be truth in questioned. I would love to tell you that, that happened that night and the next day, I woke up as if that night had never happened. This week in Living Out 52, we are on Live In Perseverance, that season of my life tested this for me. I didn't always do well with it, some days I was lucky to get out of bed. I couldn't understand why this had to be something that I witnessed. That night I was the only person in the position to see the full accident, it was something I had to not just live with, but to relive in interviews. Because you see that truck that I mentioned, it didn't stop. We will face so many trials in life, but we have to push through, because we can't change the things that happen to us. I can't change what happened that night, all I can do in walk through it. For parts of it I crawled, some parts I just laid there and wished to die, and some parts I made myself get up and take one step. With all the years that have gone by, with the medication, the doctors, the prayers and me holding on to the fact that God will not put more on me than what I can bear, I have made it through. It's still there, but my reactions to it aren't the same anymore, but it is now a part of my story. I know how falling apart can affect you, but I also know how perseverance can save you.