Just breathe

Just sit still and smile. Smile, but don't smile too much, too much smiling isn't acceptable, is it?

Just nod, just nod as they talk to you, but what are you nodding to. What did they just say, and what did you response?

Just pretend, pretend like you know them. 'Yes I remember you, I saw you once when I was a year old, but of course I do.' This makes them happy and that is something you can give.

Just look sad, this is something you can do, because he is no longer here, and You don't know your plan or purpose here with these people you don't know.

Just try not to lose it, don't stand up and yell at all the people talking about this man. This man that wasnt there for you, but they think he was the greatest man alive and you don't recognize this person they talk about.

Just look forward, when the people around you begin to whisper.  Remember, this you are use to, this has happen to you many times before. So just look forward instead of screaming at them. 'Yes, I am real, I was born, I had no choice and if you want to know the birth order just ask I will tell because I have no shame.' You haven't done anything to be ashamed of, all You did was breathe.

So Just Breathe, for as long as you can, breathe and serve your purpose. His time to breathe is over, but you have to continue, you have to figure out this strange new path of emotions, of things that you didn't think would hurt so much, but they do they hurt, they hit you at the wrong moments they make you think of so many things. Things that will never be, things that you were ok with when he was still breathing but now the lost of breathe has changed things. Things that were ok, now don't feel ok. Now they feel wrong so now you do what you know to do you just breathe. You take it day by day, you make your list you follow your list. You remember to eat, check off your list, you cry when you need to, but you keep going you breathe, you just breathe.

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