I just had a birthday yes another year has gone by, I'm living the life thirty-eight, Single, and Childless. I can do whatever I want, go wherever I want to. Yes this is the life. But I struggle with this life, not because I'm unhappy. But because where my life is, I'm fine with, but I get signals from the rest of the world that I shouldn't be happy with this life. That I should feel incomplete because I don't have a husband, but I feel very complete I feel as if I know myself well, and that when someone comes along that I would be sure in who I am and will hopefully be a better mate. The world says I should have children, because you are not a woman until you have tiny humans in your life. Well let me tell you, I've seen the proof and I'm still a woman even without kids. I know you are shook, but it's ok really, it's ok. So why does the world want to say that I shouldn't be fine with my life? But now that I think about it the world says a lot of things about how thirty-eight should look and how Single should look. So lets break this down, what the world say and what the reality of a happy thirty-eight, single, childless, woman has to say.
'If you are single you are lonely.' This one really makes me laugh, because people confuse lonely with being alone. You can be alone and not be lonely, they are not the the same. I enjoy having some time to myself, I have to admit that I'm very good company.
'Single life is so glamorous and fun.' Well this one has a little bit of truth to it, at times it can be, but this statement makes it sound like marriage is the end of that. That the day you get married all fun will cease. But since I have married friends who have a lot of fun this statement is just silly. Life can be glamorous and fun if that is what you want so go for it. Make the life you want.
'You must go out and party every weekend and date all the time.' Seriously?? Who can afford that!! I have grown woman bills, I'm tiring to reopen my company in a new city. Ain't nobody got time for that. And dating all the time, are you serious, have you meant me, I don't have the attend span to date all the time. I get bored and want a cookie and then I leave. The truth is yes I go out and yes I date, but to do that all the time is just tiring.
'Once you get married you will wish you were single.' Wow, so I can't tell you if this is true or not, it could be. I have been asked for my hand in marriage 5 times, being single for me in not an accident, if I wanted to be married I would be, but I want to marry the right person. This statement really bothers me, because when it has been told to me, the first thing I think of are women who are widows, who wish they were still married. This is something that people should stop saying, it isn’t a cute statement, and if you say it while you are married all you are really doing is disrespecting your mate.
'So you have never been married?' Now why is this so hard to believe that a person can be in their late 30's and never married. As if being married is something you can fall into, like a hole in the ground... no I didn't fall into a marriage. I made a decision to not marry the crazy guys that asked me. Not that they were all crazy, but for this post lets say they are.
'Wait you don't have any kids, Wow!!' Yes people say that, as if I'm going up to ever guy I date, opening my legs and saying please put your offspring into my womb!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!! It is very easy to not get pregnant, I will spare you the details, but it's really not that had to not get pregnant. Just saying!
'You better hurry up and have kids.' To this I say Mind Your Own Vagina! I know I say this a lot but as long as this keeps coming up I will say it. I love kids I do, I love the way they think and the funny things they say, but I like them better from someone else's body. I'm very business minded, and kids aren't something I could see fitting in my life, they are not something that I want to have around all the time. But that's me and I'm happy that other women want them because I really like playing with kids and holding babies, I just want the option to give them back. So to all my friends who want kids out there reading this, keep having babies, so I can keep having kids to play with.
So here is a little reality into this thirty-eight and single. Life for everyone is different and I've learn to enjoy the season I'm in. My reality doesn't have to be what the world thinks, its more important that it's what God thinks. When I'm in His will, I don't feel the way the world says I should, I feel content and I have Joy.
Lord, I pray that I continue to focus on your will and not what the world thinks I should or shouldn't be or do. I pray that you continue to reveal your will to me, and reveal your will to my friends who are reading this now. Thy Will Be Done. Amen.